In the 2014/2015 Survey of Wives of Sex Addicts I asked a question about regrets. One of the answers that frequently came up (8% of respondents) was around using addictive substances (or engaging in an addiction). Another 8% considered, or took, sexual revenge.
Topping the list of addictive substances women used was ‘alcohol’ (second was drugs). However, when it
Those of you who follow me on Facebook will know that I recently organized a one-day partner’s retreat in Auckland, New Zealand, lead by Dr. Barbara Steffens: the founder of the “partner trauma model.” What I learned at Barbara’s retreat, was both healing and furthered my thoughts on betrayal pain in relationship to damaged identity.
If you discovered your husband’s betrayal/sexual addiction some time recently: this title isn’t going to make any sense to you. Face the pain? The pain is in your face… generally kicking you in the teeth several times a day.
Nevertheless, a time comes when the pain sinks below the surface… and sits there. Initially this feels great.