The purpose of the Beyond Betrayal blog is to offer betrayed wives/partners validation, encouragement and hope.

By ‘betrayed wives’ I mean the wives of porn addicts, sex addicts, sex offenders, men with sexual integrity/lusting issues and men who form romantic attachments outside of the marriage relationship. Recent research shows that it matters very little to women how their partner’s infidelity took place (i.e., whether there was intercourse with someone else), the pain and trauma feel very much the same in most situations. In fact, a bigger factor in how we experience this pain is our past experiences with betrayal and other traumatic incidents.

Having conducted the largest survey to date of wives of sex addicts, in 2014/2015 (for the book Beyond Betrayal), I will frequently present and discuss those survey results. They make a great starting point for conversations, so do, 'dive in' with your thoughts via the 'comments' fields.

Christian Perspective

In my experience, the only source of true and complete healing is the God who loves us, desires to be in relationship with us and who is always faithful. The thoughts and research shared on this blog will inevitably come back round to that point. Nevertheless, all are welcome here (no matter where you are in your faith journey) and I suspect that even if you disagree with some of the conclusions I — and the guest bloggers — come to, you will still find much to lift you up.

The Scope: Why Just Wives?

As our world becomes increasingly broken around healthy sexuality, the number of women with a sexual addiction, or propensity to unfaithfulness skyrockets. This means there are many men whose hearts have been broken by an unfaithful wife/ female partner. Because my experience and research have centred on the effects of betrayal on women, I will limit the scope of my discussions to that group. However, hurting men (either betrayed or betrayers) are welcome here. Blessings on your journey, as well.

From time to time, my husband ‘M’, will guest blog on subjects related to a wife’s healing from the perspective of a husband who wants to give support. You can read more about his ministry at whatsthebigdeal.nz (coming soon).


The blog is written predominantly in U.S.-English: as most of the community are (at this moment) in the U.S. Some posts (written by my friends down under) will be in Australia/NZ English. If the Kiwis/Aussies/Brits ever outnumber the Americans/Canadians in the community, I will consider switching the English over to "the queen's."

Love and blessings on your healing journey,