In today's post I'm reviewing some of the best resources for the SA and PSA journey that I came across this year.
I'm praying that 2018 is a breakthrough year for all of us. May we know Him as the Healer... the Inspirer.
Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal, by Lynn Marie Cherry
Like so many of us, Lynn Marie knows what it is to be lost in the desert of spiritual crisis due to a husband's porn addiction. In this incredibly powerful and spirit-lifting 40-day devotional she replays her desert journey, and encourages those still "in that place" with the scriptural meditations that served as her sign posts on the way to healing.
Lynn Marie writes: "The pain of betrayal decimated me. I became an empty shell of a woman, but I am no longer that broken girl. Jesus restored my soul one small step at a time."
Her testimony is real, raw and will resonate with anyone who has known the "dark night of the soul" due to marital betrayal. It has become one of my new favorite resources for the women I support.
You can see an excerpt from Keep Walking in last week's post.
Life After Lust, by Forest Benedict
Forest's book clearly articulates what the journey to wholeness after porn/sex addiction looks like—in a way that both mentors and inspires.
What I particularly like about this book (other than the fact that it's going to help most of my husband's clients and group members in areas they've been stuck) is the partner/wife sensitivity. In fact, there's a whole chapter early in the book devoted to helping the addict consider that his wife is "a woman of infinite worth," who deserves a husband who...
- "... only has eyes for her...
- ... is learning how to connect and does the hard work in spite of insecurities and inadequacies in this area...
- ... tells the truth about his behavior and is honest when his heart wants to wander..."
- ... takes responsibility for his life, rather than being a victim of circumstances, feelings, or personal history...
- ... humbly responds to her personal boundaries and listens to the pain his choices have caused...
- ... remains patient when forgiveness and trust do not come quickly...
- ... reminds her that she is beautiful and she is enough..."
And the list goes on.
The only thing I disagree with Forest on even a little (and considering the possibilities it's pretty amazing there's only one) is around disclosure. While therapeutic disclosure is the ideal for the majority of couples, I would like to have seen him address those scenarios where it just isn't a possibility (because outside of the U.S., and even places inside, that's all too common). One of the reasons we have to address this is that many addicts who don't have access to a trained therapist may simply read "don't do this at home" as "don't do this."
However, I find that point is easy to overlook considering the overall brilliance of this book. All and all, Life after Lust is now one of my favorite resources for those in recovery.
Kitchen Convos, by Shelley and Jason Martinkus
Though technically I began exploring Kitchen Convos last year, there have been some great additions to the series this year. This includes an even better web interface, more free promo videos (so you can test out the program before purchasing) and some new content.
Here's what I wrote about this series a few months ago for the Martinkuses:
KitchenConvos is an absolutely unparalleled resource for couples going through recovery and healing from sexual betrayal or addiction. The series’ easy-to-follow, “bite-sized” modules cover all the bases of “his,” “her” and “our” healing. Along the way, the pain and messiness of the process are validated as Jason and Shelley— with humility, vulnerability, and sometimes, humour—interweave their own story. No matter what stage of the journey a couple are in, if they’re wanting to tackle healing together, this is the first resource I point them to.
I stand by what I said: this series is helping couples find the healing they've been looking for.
May we find all the support and resources we need for growth and healing in 2018. In particular, may we find our way deeper into our greatest resource: Jesus Christ.