Lisa Taylor

244 posts

Same-Sex Attraction... in Sex Addiction

I want to begin this post by saying that I'm not by any means an expert in the areas of same-sex attraction, homosexuality, or gender dysphoria. I have been very fortunate to talk to some of the experts over the years, and I will be naming resources so that if this is an issue you want to study more, you'll

Defended...Against Vulnerability

This past week my husband and I were talking about a trait we frequently see in unfaithful husbands/husbands with porn or sex addiction. This is a trait my husband also used to exhibit in spades. In fact, it took him several years into recovery to start making good headway on this one and he's still fighting it today.


You Have Heard it Said, But... Part 2

Last week we looked at some of the scriptures that are often used to abuse (i.e. berate, blame, trap) betrayed wives/ wives of sex addicts. Today we will look at some scriptures that would seem to say something quite different to us. We will end by exploring how we know where to focus and what to do.

Thank you

You Have Heard it Said, But I Say...

I find it incredibly painful to hear scripture being used to keep the wife of a sex addict in an unhealthy place. Sometimes it’s her husband that’s quoting the passages, sometimes it’s her pastor or another Christian. Sometimes she herself is quoting scriptures to try and justify inaction in the face of evil.

The use of scripture

Problematic Sexual Behaviors and Violence

Next year will be a busy one as I launch fully into executing my Masters thesis. The topic: sex addiction and domestic violence. This is a tough subject, but one that needs more attention and more dialogue. As the time approaches for the study to launch I'll be talking more about it on this site, and inviting the community to

To Snoop or Not to Snoop

Last week I was in a training with some colleagues and the topic of betrayed wives "snooping" in the aftermath of disclosure/discovery came up. Personally, I'm not fond of the word "snooping." I prefer to look at this behavior as "information gathering" and I think it's something most wives do at some point.

Back in the bad old days

Do I Just Lack Faith?

Spiritual crisis is one the topics that comes up a lot with betrayed wives/wives of sex addicts. Most of us (64% according to the 2015 Survey on Spiritual Crisis respondents) have walked that road at some point and to some degree. This is a topic that both Donna Dixon (co-author of the survey) and I find weighing on our

Challenging the Support: Your Stories

Over the past two posts, I've brought out some common scenarios that arise for betrayed wives as they look for support. Thanks to the many women who offered to share their stories of what they faced when trying to find support from family, counsellors, and church.

Lost my own Family

A. writes: I've been so discouraged because of lack of

When to Challenge Your Support: Part 2

Last week we looked at two positions that your support (counsellor, group, friends, family, church leadership) might take with you as a betrayed spouse that require challenging. These are: "you're co-dependent" and "it's (fully/partially) your fault".

Today we'll look at a few more scenarios that too often come up for us that indicate our support needs to be challenged