Lisa Taylor

199 posts

Managing our Emotions (with our God)

Last week we looked at how to deal with our trauma emotions with the help of others. But sadly, for many of us safe, mature, regulated people are not always available when we need them.

Thus, today we'll look at how we can work through some of these emotions when it is just us and God.

Grief and Fear


Managing Emotions (With Our Peeps)

Rage. Despair. Terror. These are some of the strong negative emotions we may find ourselves experiencing after discovery/disclosure of our husband's betrayal or sex addiction.

These emotions are a normal part of the journey for a betrayed wife who has been traumatized by either discovery/disclosure, or by longstanding (and possibly ongoing) patterns of lying, emotional abuse, withdrawl, neglect,

The Younger PSA

Last week we looked at some of the experiences faced by older wives/partners of sex addicts. Today I'll look at some of the common challenges I see younger PSAs facing.

Cultural Cognitive Distortion

In Beyond Betrayal I discuss the concept of "minimize, rationalize, justify, blame." These are some of the common diversionary tactics of the addict (sex, porn or

Aging: While a PSA

This past week I turned 50. This has caused me to reflect, not for the first time, on the challenges unique to the older betrayed wife. This week I'll share some of these reflections, and next week I'll look at some of the challenges unique to our younger generation of partners of sex addicts.

Body Image

Yesterday, I was talking

SA: Making the Earth Quake

In Proverbs 30, Agur (son of Jaketh) writes:

Under three things the earth quakes; under four it cannot bear up: under a slave when he becomes king, and a fool when he is satisfied with food; under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, and a maidservant when she supplants her mistress. (NASB)

Well... maybe he writes that. As

Escaping His Drama

Last week Dan Drake explained how DARVO (deny, attack, reverse, victim, offender) can be used by an SA (or abusive person) to gaslight his wife and protect his addiction. This brought to mind another dynamic seen all too commonly in SA/PSA marriages: the drama triangle.

Stephen Karpman, a student in the transactional analysis school of psychotherapy, first published his

Gaslighting: Who's the Bad Guy?

Beyond Betrayal Community friend, Dan Drake, recently posted this excellent article on his site on gaslighting that I thought would add to our current series on this topic. Dan's particular focus is "DARVO": Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim - Offender.


Most of us don’t enter relationships thinking about gaslighting or about emotional abuse strategies. Instead, we often enter relationships

Gaslighting: Opting Out

By MJ Denis, LPC, LMFT Associate, CST, CCPS

Figuring out that you have been gaslighted is often a mixed experience. On one hand, you may feel a sense of relief and validation. If you have been gaslighted, you may have felt confused, off balance, and at times even wondered if you were going crazy. You may have doubted yourself or

Gaslighting: Part 3

By MJ Denis, LPC, LMFT Associate, CST, CCPS

Today, MJ continues her series on gaslighting with a look at three kinds of gaslighting. Thanks again, MJ!

Gaslighting is a term used to describe a set of behaviors one person uses to create confusion in another person by altering the recipient’s reality. Gaslighting can be unintentional, semi-conscious, or intentional.