Lisa Taylor

138 posts

More Stinkin Thinkin... On Sex after Betrayal

Last week, I worked on deconstructing some of the mistaken thinking in Christian circles around the role marital sex plays in preventing sex addiction. This has been part of a larger series on bad advice aimed at wives of sex addicts and those looking to help them.

This week I finish off this series by tackling the myth that if

Stinkin' Thinkin'... on Sex after Betrayal

Over the next two weeks we continue the stinkin’ thinkin’ (in church and society) series with a look at what we’re being told about our sexual “duty” to a husband with a sex addiction. Jane Howcroft looked at this issue from a biblical perspective a couple of weeks ago. Today, I’d like to look at it as well

Surviving Stinkin' Thinkin:' Part 2

Over the last several weeks we have been deconstructing some of the lies wives of sex addicts (as well as their friends and spouses) are being told about “what she needs to be doing.”

A website that I have sent people to for years posted one extremely disappointing article in August. In that post Christians were told that in order

Surviving (the world's) Stinkin' Thinkin'

I’ve written both in the Beyond Betrayal book and here on the blog about stinkin’ thinkin’ aka, “addictive thinking”, aka “minimize, rationalize, justify and blame.” We’ve even delved into some specific types of addictive thinking (and the way it plays out) through MJ Denis’ series on gaslighting.

As wives of sex addicts, we all have to learn to

The Wife is to Blame?: Part 2

Last week our guest blogger, Jane Howcroft, shared insights from scripture on a common lie about lust—that men won't do it (or sexually act out) if they're being satisfied sexually by their wife.

Today, Jane is going to further dismantle the lies in the blog post that inspired this discussion. That post, Making It Easy For Your Husband to

The Wife is to Blame ?

Today's post, the first in a two-part series, tackles a common myth circulating in the church, and beyond, that men wouldn't "wander" (i.e. use porn, lust, act out sexually with others) if their wives were just working harder to please them sexually. In other words... it's our fault when they have these issues.

It's a pleasure to have guest

"Co-Dependent:" Not Healing for Couples

At the 2014 IACSAS Redeeming Sexuality and Intimacy Conference, couple’s counselor Dorit Reichental made a profound statement. She said that treatment models that tell the addict to “stay on his side of the street” and the partner to “stay on hers” are harming the marriage.

Most of the groups and therapists who practice the “you stay on your side,

"Co-Dependent": Not Healing for Women

In the last few posts we’ve looked at where the co-dependent label is off, and what the factors are that cause co-dependent traits (when the label is closer to the mark). Today I’d like to look closer at why many of our support groups are labeling wives as co-dependent: and why that just isn’t helping.

Why Wives

Co-Dependent?... Part 2

The way some people use the term “co-dependent” you’d think there was hardly a worse label that could be applied to a person. Mass-murderer, baby-seal-killer… co-dependent.

However the fact is that many, many people have co-dependent traits at some point in their adult lives. In the Compassion movie I mention that Christians and older women, in particular, often have