At the 2014 IACSAS Redeeming Sexuality and Intimacy Conference couple’s counselor Dorit Reichental made a profound statement. She said that treatment models that tell the addict to “stay on his side of the street” and the partner to “stay on hers” are harming the marriage.
Most of the groups and therapists who practice the “you stay on your side,
In the last few posts we’ve looked at where the co-dependent label is off, and what the factors are that cause co-dependent traits (when the label is closer to the mark). Today I’d like to look closer at why many of our support groups are labeling wives as co-dependent: and why that just isn’t helping.
The way some people use the term “co-dependent” you’d think there was hardly a worse label that could be applied to a person. Mass-murderer, baby-seal-killer… co-dependent.
However the fact is that many, many people have co-dependent traits at some point in their adult lives. In the Compassion movie I mention that Christians and older women, in particular often have
91% of respondents to the 2014/2015 Survey of Wives of Sex Addicts said they set protective boundaries (i.e. limits or conditions) for their marriage, post discovery.
If one of the main definitions of “co-dependent” is one who doesn’t set protective boundaries (thereby enabling the poisonous behavior), then that’s clearly not the right term for us. Of
If your discovery of your husband’s sexual addiction took place more than three years ago, chances are you ran into the words “co-dependent” or “co-addict” pretty quickly. I first came across these words (being applied to me) in my counselor’s office. Other women are introduced to them in their “support” group meeting.
Over the next couple of weeks