All posts tagged in: 'sex addiction'

More Stinkin Thinkin... On Sex after Betrayal

Last week, I worked on deconstructing some of the mistaken thinking in Christian circles around the role marital sex plays in preventing sex addiction. This has been part of a larger series on bad advice aimed at wives of sex addicts and those looking to help them.

This week I finish off this series by tackling the myth that if

Stinkin' Thinkin'... on Sex after Betrayal

Over the next two weeks we continue the stinkin’ thinkin’ (in church and society) series with a look at what we’re being told about our sexual “duty” to a husband with a sex addiction. Jane Howcroft looked at this issue from a biblical perspective a couple of weeks ago. Today, I’d like to look at it as well

The Wife is to Blame?: Part 2

Last week our guest blogger, Jane Howcroft, shared insights from scripture on a common lie about lust—that men won't do it (or sexually act out) if they're being satisfied sexually by their wife.

Today, Jane is going to further dismantle the lies in the blog post that inspired this discussion. That post, Making It Easy For Your Husband to

The Wife is to Blame ?

Today's post, the first in a two-part series, tackles a common myth circulating in the church, and beyond, that men wouldn't "wander" (i.e. use porn, lust, act out sexually with others) if their wives were just working harder to please them sexually. In other words... it's our fault when they have these issues.

It's a pleasure to have guest

Ask the Expert Part 3

This week I have the immense privilege of attending APSATS* training with Barb Steffens — founder of the partner trauma model. I thought I'd share the blessing (of Barb's wisdom) this week with the whole of the community, as she answers another community question.

Partner Question

My husband projects almost everything he does onto me. Everything I can think of, save

Dear Sex Addict: A Letter about Your Brain

Dear Sex Addict Husband:

Hi. I know I can seem like a bit of a scary person to you. I’m the woman who keeps encouraging your wife to call you on your stuff. I tell her to use her voice. I encourage her to feel her feelings without judgment (including the feelings she was having when she smashed the

Ask the Experts: Part 2

This week we return to our "ask the experts" series, where a sex addiction or partner trauma expert answers your questions. Today's question, about fetishes, is being answered by sex addiction expert, Jason Martinkus who practices out of Denver. Jason and his wife Shelley are well known in this field for their excellent work with—and resources for—men, women

New Thoughts on Polygraphs: Part 2

Last week I gave you a look at mine and my husband's history with polygraph examinations as part of disclosure. As I alluded, the story didn't end there. It's been a long journey and we've learned a lot about the abilities and limitations of the polygraph in helping heal relationships where sexual betrayal/sexual addiction is part of the story.

New Thoughts on Polygraphs

Those of you who have read Beyond Betrayal know something of mine and my husband's history with polygraphs. The short version: not good.

However, since doing a little more digging around — talking to therapists who use them regularly, for example — I've changed my thoughts on the use of polygraphs for couples where there has been sexual betrayal. Well... I've changed