All posts tagged in: 'trauma'

It's His Problem: Why Do I need Help?

by Dan Drake

If you have recently discovered your partner’s secret sexual activities you may have thought or said something very similar to this, “He’s the one with the addiction, so why do I need therapy?” You may (very understandably) be feeling angry at the insinuation that you need support in addition to the support your addicted partner

Helping the Church Get it Right: Part 2

Last week I shared the first part of a letter to clergy composed by Adam Moore, a counselor who has worked many years in the field of sex addiction. Today, I give you the rest of that letter, and encourage you to feel free to share both parts with your church (or any church) if they are looking to support


If your discovery of your husband’s sexual addiction took place more than three years ago, chances are you ran into the words “co-dependent” or “co-addict” pretty quickly. I first came across these words (being applied to me) in my counselor’s office. Other women are introduced to them in their “support” group meeting.

Over the next couple of weeks

A Time to Grieve: Part 2

Last week's post introduced the idea of grieving as self-care and how one might make space for a "grief retreat." Dr. Barbara Steffens, founder of the partner trauma model for wives/partners of sex addicts, talks about "remembering and grieving" as the second stage of our (often non-linear) healing process.

That means the idea of a grief retreat may not

Your Questions Answered: Part 2

This week we continue looking at the questions women sent in to be answered by veteran therapists in the sex addiction/partner trauma field, Richard Blankenship (president of IACSAS) and Barbara Steffens (president of Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, i.e. APSATS).

Today, Richard answers questions around helping our young adult children.

Dating a Porn User


Trauma Recovery: Part 3, Reconnection

By Donna Meredith-Dixon
As we wrap up this three part series, I thought again about something Judith Herman wrote in Trauma and Recovery. Trauma healing is only possible within healthy relationships and safe communities. In the Beyond Betrayal Community, you’ll experience both.

Progress Isn't Linear

After reading Lisa’s post recommending a grief retreat, I was ready to jam

Trauma Recovery: Part 2, Grief Retreat

Last week Donna kicked off our series on the three stages of trauma recovery. The first stage is safety and stabilization. Today — Good Friday in New Zealand — we look at stage two: remembrance and mourning.

Grief for Recovery

In Beyond Betrayal I make the point that grieving is a necessary precursor to forgiving. Forgiving, as it so happens, is a

Trauma Recovery Stages: Part 1

By Donna Meredith-Dixon: A Door of Hope

As Lisa mentioned in her previous post, 98% of almost 600 survey respondents described experiencing symptoms of trauma, PTSD or depression following discovery or disclosure of their husband’s sexual betrayal. I remember stumbling across an online article about post-traumatic stress nine years ago. I immediately identified with the article’s description of

Trauma and Betrayal

‘I keep wondering when the next hammer is going to fall,’ said S, my support group co-ordinator.

That was the moment it struck me – she’s dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had yet to read Means' and Steffens', Your Sexually Addicted Spouse (which would confirm this thought), but I was familiar with the symptoms of PTSD. I’d