All posts tagged in: 'spiritual abuse'

6 Things the Church Should Never Say: Part 2

by Ella Hutchinson

Last week we launched Ella's two-part post on six things the Church Should never say to wives of sex addicts. As Ella mentioned in Part 1, there are doubtless more things yet that get said (that shouldn't), but these six are ones that are heard far too often.

4. “Don’t ask your husband to leave the

6 Things the Church Should Never Say to Wives of Sex Addicts

by Ella Hutchinson

Unfortunately, the Church—and most Christian counselors—have little to no training or knowledge in how to address pornography addiction or chronic infidelity. But these are likely the biggest issues couples are facing. When couples go for help, the pastor/counselor undoubtedly wants to help and means well in their guidance. But time after time I hear

More Stinkin Thinkin... On Sex after Betrayal

Last week, I worked on deconstructing some of the mistaken thinking in Christian circles around the role marital sex plays in preventing sex addiction. This has been part of a larger series on bad advice aimed at wives of sex addicts and those looking to help them.

This week I finish off this series by tackling the myth that if

Stinkin' Thinkin'... on Sex after Betrayal

Over the next two weeks we continue the stinkin’ thinkin’ (in church and society) series with a look at what we’re being told about our sexual “duty” to a husband with a sex addiction. Jane Howcroft looked at this issue from a biblical perspective a couple of weeks ago. Today, I’d like to look at it as well

Surviving Stinkin' Thinkin:' Part 2

Over the last several weeks we have been deconstructing some of the lies wives of sex addicts (as well as their friends and spouses) are being told about “what she needs to be doing.”

A website that I have sent people to for years posted one extremely disappointing article in August. In that post Christians were told that in order

Surviving (the world's) Stinkin' Thinkin'

I’ve written both in the Beyond Betrayal book and here on the blog about stinkin’ thinkin’ aka, “addictive thinking”, aka “minimize, rationalize, justify and blame.” We’ve even delved into some specific types of addictive thinking (and the way it plays out) through MJ Denis’ series on gaslighting.

As wives of sex addicts, we all have to learn to

You Have Heard It Said, Part 2

Last week we looked at some of the scriptures that are often used to abuse (i.e. berate, blame, trap) wives of sex addicts. Today we will look at some scriptures that would seem to say something quite different to us. We will end by exploring how we know where to focus and what to do.

Thank you for the

You Have Heard it Said... But I Say

I find it incredibly painful to hear scripture being used to keep the wife of a sex addict in an unhealthy place. Sometimes it’s her husband that’s quoting the passages, sometimes it’s her pastor or another Christian. Sometimes she herself is quoting scriptures to try and justify inaction in the face of evil.

The use of scripture