All posts tagged in: 'healing'

It's His Problem: Why Do I need Help?

by Dan Drake

If you have recently discovered your partner’s secret sexual activities you may have thought or said something very similar to this, “He’s the one with the addiction, so why do I need therapy?” You may (very understandably) be feeling angry at the insinuation that you need support in addition to the support your addicted partner


If your discovery of your husband’s sexual addiction took place more than three years ago, chances are you ran into the words “co-dependent” or “co-addict” pretty quickly. I first came across these words (being applied to me) in my counselor’s office. Other women are introduced to them in their “support” group meeting.

Over the next couple of weeks

Ready for (His) Change

In the closed group I was leading last year, an interesting topic came up one night. A few of the women had husbands who had been really engaging the recovery process for many months. The result was that these men were changing... in ways that were good (having gotten past those first "angry, ugly" months as I call them).


How to Stay (and not lose your mind) part 2

Last week I introduced the idea that "seeking first the kingdom of God" might be key to surviving life with a recovering sex addict. In that post I discussed how "seeking him," might not be so much about "doing things," as "being open to Him captivating our hearts."

This week I'll look a bit more into what "the kingdom of

How to Stay (and not lose your mind)

Later this month I'll be starting a series on separation and divorce. My hope is that this series will be very affirming to those of us who have separated/divorced or are feeling we are probably being called there. However, before we get into that, I'd like to take a couple of weeks to affirm those of us who are

Sharing Our Story (or not)

Family newsletters, work socials, visits to extended family, New Year's parties: the holiday season is definitely a time when we are expected "catch up" with those whom we know, but with whom we may not be in close, constant contact.

Whether it's our sister on the other side of the country, our in-laws, or our distant friends, we have decisions

Trauma Recovery: Part 3, Reconnection

By Donna Meredith-Dixon
As we wrap up this three part series, I thought again about something Judith Herman wrote in Trauma and Recovery. Trauma healing is only possible within healthy relationships and safe communities. In the Beyond Betrayal Community, you’ll experience both.

Progress Isn't Linear

After reading Lisa’s post recommending a grief retreat, I was ready to jam

Trauma Recovery: Part 2, Grief Retreat

Last week Donna kicked off our series on the three stages of trauma recovery. The first stage is safety and stabilization. Today — Good Friday in New Zealand — we look at stage two: remembrance and mourning.

Grief for Recovery

In Beyond Betrayal I make the point that grieving is a necessary precursor to forgiving. Forgiving, as it so happens, is a

Trauma Recovery Stages: Part 1

By Donna Meredith-Dixon: A Door of Hope

As Lisa mentioned in her previous post, 98% of almost 600 survey respondents described experiencing symptoms of trauma, PTSD or depression following discovery or disclosure of their husband’s sexual betrayal. I remember stumbling across an online article about post-traumatic stress nine years ago. I immediately identified with the article’s description of