All posts tagged in: 'marriage'

Escaping His Drama

Last week Dan Drake explained how DARVO (deny, attack, reverse, victim, offender) can be used by an SA (or abusive person) to gaslight his wife and protect his addiction. This brought to mind another dynamic seen all too commonly in SA/PSA marriages: the drama triangle.

Stephen Karpman, a student in the transactional analysis school of psychotherapy, first published his

Grace... It's Not Tolerance

Those of you who have read Beyond Betrayal will know I’m a big believer in intimacy. Intimacy with God and others is, in my opinion the most important factor in healing from porn and sex addiction… and it’s a key component in healing from our betrayal trauma as well. An invitation to intimacy extended to our betrayer/husband

She's Not the Enemy: Part 2

Today we continue with Jeff Hutchinson's excellent article aimed at SA husbands that he started for us last week.

More Truth

In the book Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, Barbra Stephens and Marsha Means provided the sex addiction community with a new model for understanding betrayal. Dr. Stephens proposed that the symptoms experienced by the partners of sex addicts are identical

How to Stay (and not lose your mind) part 2

Last week I introduced the idea that "seeking first the kingdom of God" might be key to surviving life with a recovering sex addict. In that post I discussed how "seeking him," might not be so much about "doing things," as "being open to Him captivating our hearts."

This week I'll look a bit more into what "the kingdom of

How to Stay (and not lose your mind)

Later this month I'll be starting a series on separation and divorce. My hope is that this series will be very affirming to those of us who have separated/divorced or are feeling we are probably being called there. However, before we get into that, I'd like to take a couple of weeks to affirm those of us who are

Your Questions Answered: Part 1

Over the next few weeks I'll be posting the answers to some of the questions sent in by members of the Beyond Betrayal Community. These questions are being answered by veteran therapists in this field, Richard Blankenship (president of IACSAS) and Barbara Steffens (president of Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, i.e. APSATS).

Questions that we will

The Celibate Marriage

This week author Briar Whitehead concludes our three-part series on same-sex attraction sex addiction with thoughts on "the celibate marriage."

Obviously there are many wives of sex addicts who are living in a celibate (or near celibate) marriage, regardless of whether their husband is attracted to men, women, or both. As one of the respondents to the 2014/2015 Survey